Growing Up Autistic: What Children Want Schools to Understand
The Language and Communication Team (LCT), Education North Tyneside’s specialist teaching team supporting language, communication and autism in educational settings, recently reflected on findings from a large UK study involving 136 autistic children aged 8–14. The research explored autistic pupils’ experiences of school, relationships and identity, placing children’s voices firmly at the centre. It highlighted both what helps autistic pupils feel safe and what makes school particularly challenging.
Listening to the children
The findings strongly echoed the experiences of the autistic children and young people the LCT has worked with across the borough, from nursery through to Year 13. While gathering the views of school staff and parents or carers is an important starting point, the LCT’s work is grounded in listening directly to children and young people themselves. Advocating for individuals, understanding their lived experiences and amplifying their voices are central to the team’s role. This insight shapes the team’s advice, recommendations, training and neuro-affirming packages of support offered to schools.
Importantly, the research reassured the LCT that its focus continues to align with the key areas of challenge highlighted by autistic pupils.
Limited Understanding, Limited Language
Many children in the study reported knowing little about what autism meant for them personally, with only a small number feeling able to talk about it. Conversations about being autistic often triggered anxiety or fear, especially with people outside the family. Without the language to describe their experiences, children found it harder to self-advocate or explain their needs.
In response to this, the LCT has developed individual packages of support designed to help autistic children and young people understand their own brains and bodies through a psychoeducational approach. Delivered by knowledgeable, skilled and empathetic specialist support assistants, this work is guided by each individual’s curiosity, knowledge and level of understanding, and informed by up-to-date research.
Alongside this, the team has developed programmes focused on interoception, communication and emotional regulation, upskilling schools to support learners to explore their experiences and develop tools to communicate and respond to their needs.
Home Is Safe. School Often Isn’t.
One of the strongest findings was the contrast between home and school. Children overwhelmingly described home as a place where they felt accepted and able to be themselves. School, however, was frequently described as unsafe, judgmental or misunderstanding. Many children reported masking their autistic traits throughout the school day to avoid negative reactions, leaving them emotionally and physically exhausted by the time they returned home. Feeling that it was “okay to be autistic” was far more common at home than in school.
Support for families and schools
The LCT continues to support families through the delivery of Exploring Autism, a seven-week course that builds knowledge and understanding for parents, carers, extended family and friends. The course provides opportunities to share strategies and approaches, and families consistently comment on its neuro-affirming ethos. Developed and delivered with those who have lived experience, the programme centres autistic voices and perspectives.
Alongside this, the LCT offers ongoing training for schools, highlighting resources that encourage a whole-school understanding of neurodiversity. For example, implementing the LEANS resource pack within PSHE curricula supports pupils to understand the wide range of neurodivergent presentations. Additional support includes guidance on neurodivergent play, understanding different communication styles and developing self-advocacy.
Sensory and Emotional Overload
Children described school as filled with overwhelming sensory experiences—noise, bright lighting, crowds and unpredictability. These challenges often led to distress, shutdowns or difficulty speaking and making decisions. Many also described experiencing intense emotions that quickly became unmanageable in busy settings.
The LCT frequently explores sensory experiences during one-to-one conversations with autistic learners, recognising that sensory processing is highly individual and often difficult for others to fully understand. Autism training delivered into schools begins by building an understanding of variation across the eight senses.
Supporting schools to make meaningful adjustments is key, using an “outside-in, inside-out” approach.
This includes adjustments to policies and practices, alongside tools and resources learners can use when external changes are harder to implement.
Relationships Shape Safety
Children were highly aware of who felt “safe” to them. Trusted adults—most often within the family—listened, understood and offered calm, consistent support. In contrast, many children felt school staff did not always recognise distress or take their needs seriously. Peer relationships varied, but bullying and exclusion remained significant concerns.
Building on the success of Exploring Autism for families, the LCT has developed a parallel programme for school staff. While whole-school training promotes shared understanding, the team recognised the importance of developing deeper expertise among key staff members who can advocate effectively for autistic learners. This programme is being piloted during the summer term, with strong interest from schools.
Strengths and Positive Identity
Despite the challenges described, many children recognised strengths associated with being autistic, including creativity, deep empathy and strong memory. Some expressed pride and confidence in who they are, particularly when spending time with other autistic or neurodivergent peers who offered understanding and acceptance.
Practitioners within the LCT view themselves as learners too. By listening to children and young people, engaging in ongoing research and training, and learning from those with lived experience, the team continues to refine its practice. Observing and sharing effective, positive approaches across schools ensures that support remains impactful—helping autistic children and young people not only cope, but thrive, in all aspects of school life.
Further reading:
Growing-up autistic: Sharing autistic children’s experiences and insights - Sinéad L Mullally, Alice E Wood, Cherice C Edwards, Sophie E Connolly, Hannah Constable, Stuart Watson, Jacqui Rodgers, Kieran Rose, Nic King, 2026
How can we support you?
If you would like support or more information about anything mentioned in this article, please don't hesitate to reach out to our Language and Communication team.
Article by
Megan Maddison
Autism Lead and Specialist Teacher
Language and Communication Team
